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Hetalia by TwinVampire

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Hetalia by Herosgirl


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November 16, 2012
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BTTx Thief!Reader (with England)

Hired to Kill
-------------------------------------------------

"How much do I owe you?" You glanced up at the man. A lock of his blonde hair curled upward from his head.

"I took what you owe me." You nodded at the bag, "The rest is there."

He nodded, grabbing the large sack. "Thanks." Pulling a mask over his face, he waved and lept up the stairs.

As strange as this exchange might have been to an outsider, It was completely normal for one such as you.

What were you? A thief for hire. Plain and simple. People paid you to break into fancy high-end places. You did it willingly. It was a fun job.

Besides, you loved making the nobles flip.

Pulling a dagger out of your belt, you set about to polishing it.

A creak came from upstairs. A new costumer.
"Hola, Chica."

A familiar man walked down the stairs. His tanned skin glowing contrasting against his bright red coat.

"What can I do for you Toni?" You twirled the dagger between your fingers.

Antonio was a fellow thief, in a way. He wasn't a rival, nor was he your partner. He was just a pirate.

"I'd like to hire you for a job." He leaned against desk and stared at his fingernails.

You snorted, "Gee Toni. If you don't think you can do it. what makes you think I can?"

"It's not a regular job."

You arched an eyebrow. The dagger lay still in your hands.

"I'm listening."

He took a deep breath and looked you in the eye.

"I need you to kill someone."

You coughed, surprised.

"Um Toni. I'm a Thief, not an assassin for hire." You motioned to the sign above your head. Toni sighed, walking over to stand in front of you.

"You don't understand." His green eyes searched yours "You are the only one I trust to do this."

You flicked your wrist, sending the dagger spinning into the opposite wall. It buried itself  hilt deep next to a multitude of different knives.

"I really don't care Toni. I don't kill."

Before you could react, his hands were around your wrists.

"Please _______!!!"

"No." You rolled your eyes. "Do it yourself."

You squeaked as he lifted you from your chair and slammed you against the wall. His breath tickled your neck.

"Damn it Toni!" You struggled to get free, but to no avail.

The Spaniard had easily trapped you with his hips and arms.  You blushed.

"Listen to me Chica!" His hand tightened around your wrists.

"I need you to kill Francis Bonnefoy." Toni licked his lips, his eyes pleading.
Your mind went blank.

Francis Bonnefoy?

Francis Over-Lord of the Supreme inner circle Bonnefoy?

Are you high?" Your brow furrowed. Toni couldn't be serious, there was no way in HELL  he was serious.

"No! I'm not. Listen to me!! That man is the reason the kingdom is like this!"

This was referring to the extreme poverty everyone lived in. Unless you were a noble.

"Can you really pin the blame on one guy?" Your pursed your lips, trying to ignore how close his face was to yours.

"I know a lot of things about him. Things even his so called friends don't know."

That was good to know. In a creepy stalker kind of way.

"Like what?" A weird as it sounded, you were genuinely curious.

"Like he grew up on a farm. He played with pigs and frolicked in tick infested fields."
Okay then. You found it hard to image, Mr. Frilly silk coat doing something like that.

"How would you know?"

"I grew up with him." Toni took a deep breath, and proceeded to tell you the entire story.

Francis, Antonio and another boy named Gilbert grew up in the same small village. Each one dreamed of becoming something great.

Gilbert wanted to be a knight

Antonio a traveling Merchant

And Francis a King of some distant land.

One by one, they each got there wish part way.

Gilbert and his younger brother were carted off to military school.

Antonio's father introduced his son to sea merchants (A.K.A Pirates).

And Francis was sent to a boarding school for young men.

As riveting as the tale was, you couldn't help noticing how he was still pinning you against the wall.

And it went on. Studies over many years

Gilbert became a guard for a king of the neighboring land

Antonio an expert at looting small villages

and Francis talked his way into high ranking positions in the castle.

He soon found himself in the inner circle. Francis talked (and murdered) his way into higher positions, slowly climbing up the ladder to the top.
And when he reached the top, he let all hell break loose. Sending troops to conquer neighboring lands.

And everything went to shit for the villagers. He taxed them on EVERYTHING.

Why? To pay for his lavish parties and silk clothing.

"Wow." You grimaced, "I see why anyone would want the guy dead. But really Toni. You kill him."

Antonio shook his head. "In my heart, He is still the boy who was my friend. I can't do it." He stepped back, rubbing his eyes.

You rubbed your arms, sighing.

"FINE. I'll do it." You raised a finger and pointed at him, "But you owe me double."

He nodded silently, twisting the hem of his red coat.

"Thanks Chica."

-----Time skip-----

When was the best time to assassinate?

Night time.

But how would you get inside the castle?

Easy.
The dumb ass left the gates open during his nightly parties.

What to kill him with?

A knife. What else?

How long should you wait?

Apparently a shitload of time.

You had been sitting in the rafters of his high cathedral ceiling bedroom for hours.

What was taking so long?! Did the guy sit there and gorge himself or something?

Probably not, he was pretty thin after all.

You felt your eyelids sag, maybe a little nap wouldn't hurt.



You jerked awake. How long had you been sleeping?

Oh well, no time for that.

A shape was huddled under the covers on the bed. Perfect.

Sliding down the wall, you tip-toed towards the bed. Fingering your knife, you stared down at the bed.
Something was off about the shape. It was to fluffy looking. Fluffy, like feather pillows.

You slinked towards the window.
This was great. Just great. You had no idea where the real Francis was and didn't want to search the giant castle.

"Leaving so soon?" A male voice crooned  "You didn't even rip ze pillows in anger."

You froze, one leg already out the window.

"Don't even try. Ze lions I placed at ze bottom 'aven't been feed in a week."

Nice. You added animal cruelty to your list of reasons to kill him.

A man stepped out of the shadows, followed by several palace guards.
"You know, in ze two- 'undred seventy-six assassination attempts on my life. You are ze first woman assassin." His bright blue eyes slid over your form.

You shuddered, disgusted.

Tossing a lock of blonde hair over his shoulder, he smirked, "I zink I'll interrogate you personally." His powder blue silk jacket shone in the candle light.

That didn't bode well.

-----Time skip----

"WHAT IS YOUR NAME!!!!!!" The Frenchman screeched for the 90th time.

You rolled your eyes. Like the other times, you refused to answer. Wiggling your fingers, you attempted to loosen the tight bonds around your wrists.

No luck. Although it was kinda worth it. Watching Francis lose his cool was amusing.

"All I want is your name." He breathed out.

"Well it depends who you ask." You smirked, enjoying the confused, yet slightly pissed, look that settled on his face.

"Tell me." He growled, his blue eyes narrowed.

"To the people of the village I'm known as the Willow Woman." His left eyelid twitched.

"Oh? And why is zat?"

"I live under a tree." Francis made a disgusted face.

"To the nobles of your ugly kingdom I'm Sketch."

His eyebrow twitched. "Zat stupid zeif who leaves drawings in the place of the stolen item?"

"Yup." You grinned proudly. It was wiped off your face, however, when the Frenchman back-handed you across the face.

"What did your mozer call you?" His brought his face close to yours, clenching his teeth.

"_______."

He smirked, "Good. Now, who sent you to kill me?"

You rolled your eyes. Giving him your name was one thing, but betraying a friend was a totally different matter.

"Lord Poppycock" You scowled up at him.

"Bullshit." He snarled, smacking you again. "Quit playing games."

"The Tomato." You glared at him, blood trickled from your nose.

His face slowly drained of color.  "What?"

"You heard me jackass."
Turning around, he motioned to the guards.

"Put her in the dungeons."

The tallest of them (A largish blonde man with a shitload of mussels) Stepped forward and hauled you to your feet.

"Move." He growled, shoving you forward.

----Time skip----

"You should really were sleeveless shirts. It would show of those arm mussels." You leaned against the bars of your cell.
The blonde guard clenched his jaw. His face was buried in a history book.

"And maybe you should let your hair down. Then you would have luck with the ladies."

His face turned pink, but he didn't lower the book.

"Or men. Which ever you prefer."

His face flared red. Slamming the book down, he stomped over to your cell.

"Now, now Luddy. Vat did I say about getting angry at the guest?" A man walked in, twirling a key ring on his finger. His silvery white hair contrasted drastically with his navy blue cape.

"But she!"

"Go. It's your break Luddy."

The blonde man grit his teeth, glaring at you.

----Time skip-----

You paced back and forth in your cell. The white haired guard ignored you, flipping through a dirty magazine.

Sighing you sat down.

What to do? There was no visible way out.
Unless.............

"Soooooooooooo." You stood up and wove your arms around the bars.

His red eyes flicked up to you, then back down at the magazine. You scowled, drumming your fingers impatiently.

"Why do you even work for him? I mean, the guys an asshole." You could tell that you hit a nerve.

His hands tightened, and his lips pursed.

"I owe him for somezing."

You twisted your bottom lip, "What did you do, Kill someone?"

His face turned as white as his hair. Tossing the magazine to the floor, he grabbed the bars of your cell.

"Vhy does Francis keep you? He's killed all ze other assassins on ze spot." His crimson eyes narrowed, searching yours.

"Oh I dunno." You smirked, "He must love my personality."

His hands shot out, wrapping around the collar of your shirt. Pulling you in close he growled

"I zink your personality is SHIT. Vhy is Francis keeping you?"

You shrugged, "Your guess is as good as mine."

He pulled away, picking up the magazine.

"He turned white when I metioned the Tomato."
You watched as his back stiffened, the magazine dropped to the ground.

"He's still alive?"

His reply surprised you. He knew Antonio?
Wait a minute.

"Gilbert?"
He spun around, nearly giving you a heart attack.

"How?"

"Antonio told me." You backed away slowly as he advanced.

"Francis said he was dead."

"Francis says a lot of things. Like how he'd pull this country out of poverty."
Gilbert nodded, his knuckles white from the force he was using to hold onto the bars.

"Can you take me to Toni?"
You nodded, It would be easy to ditch once you were off the palace grounds.

----Time skip-----

He was hard to ditch. The guy stuck to you like glue.
His arm was wrapped around your waist as you took back alleyways to the tree at the edge of the village.
Every time you tried to wriggle away, his arm would tighten.

Finally you reached the tree. Slapping your palm against the bark, you pushed open a hidden doorway.

"After you." You motioned him forward. He complied, starting down the long twisting staircase. You followed slowly. Hopefully Antonio had stayed.

You heard a what sounded like a brief scuffle, then laughing.
Standing on the bottom step, you grinned.

Antonio and Gilbert were hugging and laughing, tears in the corners of their eyes.


Over the next hour, you sat in the corner, polishing knives as the two chatted away. Needless to say, you were bored. And slightly pissed that you had failed to complete the task Toni had given you.

Stupid Francis.

"______." You looked up. Both Antonio and Gilbert stood before you, hands on their weapons.

"You don't need to kill him. Gilbert and I will do it." Antonio gave you a tiny smile, his lips trembling slightly. Gilbert nodded, his hand tight on the silver blade at his hip.
You grinned, "Then I wish you the best of luck!"

"Zey'll need more zen luck were I'll be sending zem." A familiar French accent crowed.
Son of a Firetruck.
Both men spun around, facing their old friend. You took the distraction as an opportunity to slink into the shadows.

-----Time skip------

You watched from the rafters as Antonio and Gilbert were over-powered and tied to chairs.
Francis stalked around them, laughing and spitting insults.

Something was off. His walk was stiff, almost mechanical. Or almost as if He was in the wrong body, like it was slightly too big.

You tilted your head to the side,near the back of his head, a patch of blonde hair was shorter and differently colored.

Bingo.

You slid down the wall and snuck behind him. Gilbert's eyes widened then narrowed. He thought you were going to attack from behind.

"Vhy ar you doing zis?" He made sure Francis's attention was on him.

Reaching out, you quickly tugged on the lock of hair.

Francis screamed and fell to the floor, writhing in pain. His skin bubbled like molten lava, twisting and sliding.

Gilbert shrieked and Antonio started yelling in Spanish. You watched calmly. This was a familiar sight. The result of undoing a transformation spell.

You knew only one man who could make such things.

Arthur Kirkland.

Sure enough the Englishman picked himself off the floor, the silk clothing melting into black robes.

"Dammit, Love. I should have know you would have sniffed me out." He glared, dusting off his sleeves.

"Bloody women. To smart for their own good." You raised and eyebrow

"Really Iggy? Do you really want to go down that path? Have you forgotten whose house you're in?"

He frowned, "I'm not daft. Of course I know."

You smirked, "Then you remember the enchantments you sold me?"

His large eyebrows furrowed, "What? I never sold you any enchantments."

You pretended to cough, "I stole them."

"YOU BLOODY WANKER!!!!" He shrieked, "Which ones did you take?"

"Oh you know. Miracle grow, strangle vines and the soul of a mother dragon."

Arthur's face went blank, then snapped into a picture of perfect rage.
"DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO COLLET THE LAST TWO?!" His voice rose in utter outrage.

"Um Iggy? You probably shouldn't do that. She doesn't like yelling." You pointed behind the irate Brit.
Behind you Gilbert gave out a girly scream, Antonio who couldn't see around you, yelled for him to shut up.

"Oh bloody fuc-" Arthur's words were cut off as a giant viney creature wrapped its many tendrils around him.

"Good girl." You patted it's head. Gilbert was shaking,

"Vhat ze fuck? If zat vas eyebrows, zen vere is Francis?" Antonio nodded in agreement.

"Spit it out." You held a hand under the creatures gaping maw. It gurgled in the back of it's throat, then spit up a small silvery, gray bag.

"I don't get it." Antonio furrowed his brow. Rolling your eyes, you tipped the bag over and shook it.

Out fell the Frenchman.

"ZAT WAS ZE MOST 'ORRIBLE EXPERIENCE EVER!!!!" He clung to you leg, shaking.

Rolling your eyes you shook him off and started up the steps.

"VAIT! Vere are you going?!" Gilbert strained against his bonds.

"Well no one was left to guard the castle.....So I'm going to loot it." Grinning evil, you grabbed a large sack and several daggers off the wall.


"WAIT!!!! CHICA!!!! UNTIE US!!!!!"
I know that I should really be writing my Nekotalia series....but... I got the idea yesterday and had to type it out!!

(and I felt the intense need to write another BTTxReader xD





Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya-san
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:iconriley-phantomhive:
riley-phantomhive Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Can't stop laughing
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:iconmangaanimefanforlife:
mangaanimefanforlife Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
this was the best I can't stop laughting
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:iconostara-frost:
Ostara-Frost Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you!
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:iconmangaanimefanforlife:
mangaanimefanforlife Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
your welcome
Reply
:iconmmmmm2mmmmm:
MMMMM2MMMMM Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That was....... Complicatingly AWESOME!!! (Is that a word??)
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:iconostara-frost:
Ostara-Frost Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013  Student Writer
I believe so :>
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:iconsillystorm28:
sillystorm28 Featured By Owner May 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
xD
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:iconkatniss-hp-twilight:
Katniss-HP-Twilight Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013
omg XD that's just awesome~
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:iconostara-frost:
Ostara-Frost Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013  Student Writer
Thanks!!
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:iconsakura-ex:
Sakura-Ex Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013  Student Writer
Ahahahahaha! Looting is fun!
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