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February 26, 2013
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Okay guys a brief explanation for why kitty Scot is such a weird cat. It's mainly because, I think that if Scotland was a cat, he'd be a hyperactive little shit.   xD That's all.


Making decisions had always been a slight problem for you and today was no exception. You stared at the throng of milling cats. You could only pick one, but they were all so cute and you wanted to take them all with you.  But you couldn't.

Sighing, you pursed your lips. Maybe you should come back tomorrow after you had researched the different types of cats.

Turning to Elizabeta, you smiled apologetically. "I don't know if I'm really ready to adopt a cat yet."

She nodded, grabbing a flyer off the near by wall. It explained the purpose of the shelter and the hours. You thanked her smiled, taking the flyer. When you left, you felt a small tinge of guilt for not buying a cat.

Walking over to your car you sighed, digging around in your pockets for your keys. You found them and fumbled slightly, dropping them. When you bent down to retrieve them, you noticed a flash of orange.

Shoving the keys back in your pocket, you headed towards the spot. It was the entrance toa n alleyway. Peeking in, you gasped.  A bony tabby cat crouched in the alleyway, chewing on a cigarette carton.

"Oh no no no kitty. You shouldn't eat that!!"

You ran over and grabbed the cat, scooping him against your chest. The cat squirmed and let out a yowl. You held on tightly, running back to your car.

Shoving the cat onto the passenger seat, you hoped that it wouldn't pee on the seat. The cat seemed resigned to it's fate, sitting on the seat and staring at you. It was one of those unnerving, I-can-see-into-your-soul stares that cats had perfected.
Ignoring him, you began the journey home.

The cat seemed to adjust well to your home. He certainly liked the food you had picked out for him, gulping it down like he was starving. And when you thought about it, he probably was. The cat kept glancing at you while he ate, his strange green eyes narrowed. You noticed with a smile that he had large furry patches over his eyes, like eyebrows.

"Alright. I'm going to get cat supply stuff, no going to the bathroom while I'm gone."
The cat blinked and snorted. You rolled your eyes and left.

When you returned you were happy to see that the cat hadn't gone to the bathroom all over the floor. You, however, were slightly pissed to see that the cat had shredded the back of your favorite chair.

"Here." You tossed the only cat toy you had been able to find. A tiny plush bagpipe. The cats eyes widened and his ears flicked back and forth. Trying to look disinterested, he sauntered over, then pounced on the toy.

"I'll buy you another later."
After a moment of watching him, you headed for the kitchen to set up the rest of the items.

It only took you a day to figure out that the cat was a bit of a psycho. Scratch that, he was a complete psycho. He liked climbing up the walls. Running and leaping, sinking his claws into the walls and shimmying up to the ceiling before falling and repeating the process.

He hated anything and everything British. Whenever someone sounding vaguely British was on TV, he leapt at it, yowling crazily. So, no Doctor Who while he was awake.

He was possessive of his toys. The squeaky bagpipes and a small Loch ness monster plush were under constant supervision from the cat.

Allistor was also afraid of vacuums. Whenever you took yours out, he climbed up the curtains, staying there until you had put the device away.

All in all, he was the weirdest cat ever.

"Allistor. Where did you go?"

You looked around for the crazy cat. He had so many hiding places in the house. Too many in your opinion. Looking under a few chairs you sighed and turned in a slow circle.

'If I was a psychotic cat, were would I hide?'

There were so many options. Before you could decide were to start looking a crash came from the kitchen. You froze, eyes going wide. Slowly, you crept into the kitchen and looked about.

Allistor was staggering around the kitchen, his pupils unfocused. You were confused for a moment, then you saw the cause of his affliction. A beer can was tipped over, spilling the amber liquid across the floor.

What the? You didn't even buy beer, forget about drinking it.

So were had it come from?

You turned your gaze to the crazily staggering cat. He stared back, blinking rapidly, then he meowed loudly. Except it wasn't like his other meows, this one sounded like a human trying to sound like a cat.

"What are you?"

The cat flicked it's ears back and forth, taking a slow step back. You lept forward, scooping the cat up. He yowled and you frowned.

"Shush, stop fussing."

He wouldn't stop squirming and hissing. You held him and arm lengths away, wincing slightly.

"This is a load of shite."

There was a bang like a gun shot. You let out a shout and fell backwards. You lay on your back, slightly dazed, then sat up, wondering if that cat was okay. You found yourself face to face with a pair of brilliant emerald eyes.

They were human eyes, not cat eyes.

You scrambled backwards away from the obviously naked male. Slapping a hand over your eyes, you felt your cheeks flare bright red.

"Who are you and were is my cat?"

"I'm Allistor an' I am yer cat."

"Bull shit!!"

"Ah'm nae lyin'!!" He proceeded to explain about some curse and how you had broke it. You stared at him(trying to avoid looking down.)

"So wait. Your trigger was 'This is a load of shite'?"

"Nae it's jist 'Shite'."

You raised an eyebrow, then decided not to ask. Allistor grinned, then looked around.

"Ye' got anythin' tah' will fit me?"

You nodded, then ran to your room. You had gone to find a cat and had come back with a sexy scottish man. All in a days work.
:D Thank you everyone who submitted a suggestion for how Kitty Allistor should act!!!!

Intro- [link]

I own nothing but the plot
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ueitheglaceon Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
SHITE! XD and yes I'm Scottish so I know what it means.
00ponytail00 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I would want a cat like him, it would make my life so fun!

Kira-the-kitty Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I read the 'hyperactive little shit' part and I immediately favourited it! XD  not even at the story and I love it 
Earthmonkey1992 Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Student Artist
I had a mad ginger cat once and he was a maniac! I remember a ginger blur running around the walls! *sighs* such sweet memories!
SakuraDrowned Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
layla-mindora Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Love it!! ^-^
wolfleopard3301 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
The last sentence though!!*dies laughing...again*
excentricaluli Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014
so I got all that in less then a week?..... YAY!!!!!! :dance: 
NikoKarma Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Good job.
BloodLily16 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Geez. Scotland, you have issues. 
Wait, was he trying to get me to swear that entire time?
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