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February 26, 2013
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Neko!ScotlandxReader

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Okay guys a brief explanation for why kitty Scot is such a weird cat. It's mainly because, I think that if Scotland was a cat, he'd be a hyperactive little shit.   xD That's all.

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Making decisions had always been a slight problem for you and today was no exception. You stared at the throng of milling cats. You could only pick one, but they were all so cute and you wanted to take them all with you.  But you couldn't.

Sighing, you pursed your lips. Maybe you should come back tomorrow after you had researched the different types of cats.

Turning to Elizabeta, you smiled apologetically. "I don't know if I'm really ready to adopt a cat yet."

She nodded, grabbing a flyer off the near by wall. It explained the purpose of the shelter and the hours. You thanked her smiled, taking the flyer. When you left, you felt a small tinge of guilt for not buying a cat.

Walking over to your car you sighed, digging around in your pockets for your keys. You found them and fumbled slightly, dropping them. When you bent down to retrieve them, you noticed a flash of orange.

Shoving the keys back in your pocket, you headed towards the spot. It was the entrance toa n alleyway. Peeking in, you gasped.  A bony tabby cat crouched in the alleyway, chewing on a cigarette carton.

"Oh no no no kitty. You shouldn't eat that!!"

You ran over and grabbed the cat, scooping him against your chest. The cat squirmed and let out a yowl. You held on tightly, running back to your car.

Shoving the cat onto the passenger seat, you hoped that it wouldn't pee on the seat. The cat seemed resigned to it's fate, sitting on the seat and staring at you. It was one of those unnerving, I-can-see-into-your-soul stares that cats had perfected.
Ignoring him, you began the journey home.


The cat seemed to adjust well to your home. He certainly liked the food you had picked out for him, gulping it down like he was starving. And when you thought about it, he probably was. The cat kept glancing at you while he ate, his strange green eyes narrowed. You noticed with a smile that he had large furry patches over his eyes, like eyebrows.

"Alright. I'm going to get cat supply stuff, no going to the bathroom while I'm gone."
The cat blinked and snorted. You rolled your eyes and left.


When you returned you were happy to see that the cat hadn't gone to the bathroom all over the floor. You, however, were slightly pissed to see that the cat had shredded the back of your favorite chair.

"Here." You tossed the only cat toy you had been able to find. A tiny plush bagpipe. The cats eyes widened and his ears flicked back and forth. Trying to look disinterested, he sauntered over, then pounced on the toy.

"I'll buy you another later."
After a moment of watching him, you headed for the kitchen to set up the rest of the items.


It only took you a day to figure out that the cat was a bit of a psycho. Scratch that, he was a complete psycho. He liked climbing up the walls. Running and leaping, sinking his claws into the walls and shimmying up to the ceiling before falling and repeating the process.

He hated anything and everything British. Whenever someone sounding vaguely British was on TV, he leapt at it, yowling crazily. So, no Doctor Who while he was awake.

He was possessive of his toys. The squeaky bagpipes and a small Loch ness monster plush were under constant supervision from the cat.

Allistor was also afraid of vacuums. Whenever you took yours out, he climbed up the curtains, staying there until you had put the device away.

All in all, he was the weirdest cat ever.


"Allistor. Where did you go?"

You looked around for the crazy cat. He had so many hiding places in the house. Too many in your opinion. Looking under a few chairs you sighed and turned in a slow circle.

'If I was a psychotic cat, were would I hide?'

There were so many options. Before you could decide were to start looking a crash came from the kitchen. You froze, eyes going wide. Slowly, you crept into the kitchen and looked about.

Allistor was staggering around the kitchen, his pupils unfocused. You were confused for a moment, then you saw the cause of his affliction. A beer can was tipped over, spilling the amber liquid across the floor.

What the? You didn't even buy beer, forget about drinking it.

So were had it come from?

You turned your gaze to the crazily staggering cat. He stared back, blinking rapidly, then he meowed loudly. Except it wasn't like his other meows, this one sounded like a human trying to sound like a cat.

"What are you?"

The cat flicked it's ears back and forth, taking a slow step back. You lept forward, scooping the cat up. He yowled and you frowned.

"Shush, stop fussing."

He wouldn't stop squirming and hissing. You held him and arm lengths away, wincing slightly.

"This is a load of shite."

There was a bang like a gun shot. You let out a shout and fell backwards. You lay on your back, slightly dazed, then sat up, wondering if that cat was okay. You found yourself face to face with a pair of brilliant emerald eyes.

They were human eyes, not cat eyes.

You scrambled backwards away from the obviously naked male. Slapping a hand over your eyes, you felt your cheeks flare bright red.

"Who are you and were is my cat?"

"I'm Allistor an' I am yer cat."

"Bull shit!!"

"Ah'm nae lyin'!!" He proceeded to explain about some curse and how you had broke it. You stared at him(trying to avoid looking down.)

"So wait. Your trigger was 'This is a load of shite'?"

"Nae it's jist 'Shite'."

You raised an eyebrow, then decided not to ask. Allistor grinned, then looked around.

"Ye' got anythin' tah' will fit me?"

You nodded, then ran to your room. You had gone to find a cat and had come back with a sexy scottish man. All in a days work.
:D Thank you everyone who submitted a suggestion for how Kitty Allistor should act!!!!

Intro- [link]

I own nothing but the plot
Add a Comment:
 
:iconlaunismooth:
LauniSmooth Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
""You nodded, then ran to your room. You had gone to find a cat and had come back with a sexy scottish man. All in a days work.""

Lol

And I know I'm late but I just realized he was doing all that just to get me to cuss him out....
Reply
:iconkittytheotakugirl:
KittyTheOtakuGirl Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I wish that would happen with me... but my cat Envy wouldn't like Allistor... Envy is highly possessive of me...
Reply
:iconueitheglaceon:
ueitheglaceon Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
SHITE! XD and yes I'm Scottish so I know what it means.
Reply
:iconwolfinthedark232:
wolfinthedark232 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
BLESS GOD FOR SCOTTISH PEOPLE *dances around with a can of irn bru*
Reply
:icon00ponytail00:
00ponytail00 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I would want a cat like him, it would make my life so fun!

 
Reply
:iconkira-the-kitty:
Kira-the-kitty Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I read the 'hyperactive little shit' part and I immediately favourited it! XD  not even at the story and I love it 
Reply
:iconearthmonkey1992:
Earthmonkey1992 Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Student Artist
I had a mad ginger cat once and he was a maniac! I remember a ginger blur running around the walls! *sighs* such sweet memories!
Reply
:iconsakuradrowned:
SakuraDrowned Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
trolol
Reply
:iconlayla-mindora:
layla-mindora Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Love it!! ^-^
Reply
:iconwolfleopard3301:
wolfleopard3301 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
The last sentence though!!*dies laughing...again*
Reply
:iconexcentricaluli:
excentricaluli Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014
so I got all that in less then a week?..... YAY!!!!!! :dance: 
Reply
:iconnikokarma:
NikoKarma Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Damn.
Good job.
Reply
:iconbloodlily16:
BloodLily16 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Geez. Scotland, you have issues. 
Wait, was he trying to get me to swear that entire time?
Reply
:icondeathcity87099:
Deathcity87099 Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014
"no Doctor Who while he was awake" ;-; Pikachu Crying Plz Pikachu Crying Plz Cry forever 
Reply
:iconnikokarma:
NikoKarma Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Cats sleep a lot but i get the feel that this one is one of the creepy fucked up ones that watch you while you sleep and wake you up at four in the morning by jumping and attempting to run out the closed door/window
Reply
:icondeathcity87099:
Deathcity87099 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2014
That makes it better but still. I love Doctor Who.
Reply
:iconnikokarma:
NikoKarma Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Same~
Reply
:icondeathcity87099:
Deathcity87099 Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2014
Who's your favorite doctor?
Reply
:iconnikokarma:
NikoKarma Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Ether 11th or 10th
Reply
:icondeathcity87099:
Deathcity87099 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2014
I like the 10th and 4th.
Reply
:iconnikokarma:
NikoKarma Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Happy late canada day, and happy late america day, and happy late uh... idk what to call hong kongs birthday....
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconmissnala2134:
missnala2134 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014
Ikr? Komari Kamikita (Crying) [V5] Neko Emoji-14 (Cry) [V1] Pikachu crying 1 
Reply
:icondeathcity87099:
Deathcity87099 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2014
WHY?!?!
Reply
:iconfemportugal:
FemPortugal Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
What is shite?
Reply
:iconostara-frost:
Ostara-Frost Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2014  Student Writer
it means shit
Reply
:iconfemportugal:
FemPortugal Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Ooooooooooooooooooooook.
Russia- kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol.
Me- *pets him on the head*
Reply
:iconamuletamethyst:
AmuletAmethyst Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2013  Student General Artist
"So wait. Your trigger was 'This is a load of shite'?"

"Nae it's jist 'Shite'."

Pfffftttt! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Reply
:iconostara-frost:
Ostara-Frost Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2013  Student Writer
xD
Reply
:iconmixedmuttneko-chan:
MixedMuttNeko-Chan Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Scotland is just like my cat.... Even when it comes to the curtain and vaccum thing..... God, I need to get a new hobby besides watching my cat...
Reply
:iconostara-frost:
Ostara-Frost Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2013  Student Writer
xD OMG
Reply
:iconelr93:
ELR93 Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
"The cat seemed resigned to it's fate, sitting on the seat and staring at you. It was one of those unnerving, I-can-see-into-your-soul stares that cats had perfected."
i hate when my cat gives me those stares, it slightly creeps me out lol
Reply
:iconostara-frost:
Ostara-Frost Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2013  Student Writer
IKR?
Reply
:iconelr93:
ELR93 Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
my cat also has a look were i swear she is planning my demise lol
Reply
:iconemberelf14:
Emberelf14 Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2014
I think my cat is planning what parts of my body she'll eat first when I die. Im hoping she won't attack my face first.
Reply
:iconseffykoepsel:
seffykoepsel Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
cat that turns in to sexy scotsman...........best trade ever!
Reply
:iconostara-frost:
Ostara-Frost Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2013  Student Writer
xD
Reply
:iconmissbuttergamer:
missbuttergamer Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2013
lol shite
Reply
:iconseffykoepsel:
seffykoepsel Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
love this one the most. love me a scots man. ^_^ and that the trigger word is shite.
Reply
:iconostara-frost:
Ostara-Frost Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013  Student Writer
:>
Reply
:iconalicha-silvia:
Alicha-Silvia Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2013
I was just thinking of what would happen if I got all the kitties for my fave characters....I would be allowed to go anywhere....Ivan....Arthur....and so many others...heh
Reply
:iconostara-frost:
Ostara-Frost Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2013  Student Writer
:>
Reply
:iconporcelain-child:
Porcelain-child Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2013
*the bang and flies six feet backwards* O^O MMMMOTHERFUUUUUUUUU-
Reply
:iconostara-frost:
Ostara-Frost Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2013  Student Writer
xD
Reply
:iconporcelain-child:
Porcelain-child Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
it would happen. :iconwthplz:
Reply
:iconromacat:
Romacat Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013
Funny and for some reason I had a feeling that Allistor would turn human in this even before I got to that part.
Reply
:iconostara-frost:
Ostara-Frost Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Student Writer
:D
Reply
:icontransformicerawks11:
transformicerawks11 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Student Digital Artist
You own nothing but the 'plot'?
HehehehHAHAHA!
Reply
:iconostara-frost:
Ostara-Frost Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2013  Student Writer
What's so funny?
Reply
:icontransformicerawks11:
transformicerawks11 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Nothing(it means butt,or ass. Idk what this has to do with it, but here. :iconspainassplz: )
Reply
:iconcousin-of-canada:
Cousin-of-Canada Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2013
I can see it now:
Scottie walks into the neighbors house.
Neighbor puts down an open can of beer.
Scottie somehow takes it back to my house.
Neighbor: Where did my beer go?
Reply
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